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5 Love Languages!

What are Love Languages? What is yours?

Grab a pen and paper and take the test here.

Communicating can be tricky. You might be a dab hand at writing social media captions or an ace at public speaking. But sharing how you really feel with a loved one isn’t always an easy task. In fact, it can be one of the trickiest areas of being in a relationship with another person.

When setting the goal for a happy relationship future, it’s important to learn the best ways to love and be loved by your partner.

10 years ago, ‘Love languages’ were coined by Dr Chapman the author of ‘the 5 Love Languages’. The concept boils down to 5 ways in which people understand love. Words of Affirmation; Quality Time; Receiving Gifts; Acts of Service and Physical Touch. We will explore each one throughout this article and give you some tips on how to incorporate them into your dating life.

Love languages are a way in which we display our feelings.

You may do most of the cooking or may say ‘I love you’ a lot more than your partner.

Your partner may ask you to pick up the shopping on your way home and be really hurt when you forget.

Through understanding which one is yours, you will be able to communicate your needs and desires in your relationship easily. Not only that but finding out which Love Langauge your loved one speaks means you will be able to make some slight adjustments that will have a massive impact on your partner's feelings. They may feel more secure, more appreciated and truly loved by you. Whilst all 5 are important, we each typically have 1 that is our primary.

The 5 Love Languages and some date night ideas:

Words of Affirmation

These are words that build you up. Compliments and being told how much people care are a big thing for you. It's the intention and emotion behind those words that make this language genuine. So don’t fake it - saying things before you are ready or tossing insults around can be very damaging to any relationship.

Date night idea:

Write down phrases like: ‘I feel loved when you…’, ‘I am proud of you when you..’ and ‘It means a lot to me when you..’ on 20 pieces of paper, roll each one up and pop them in a cup. Take turns in pulling a phrase out and finishing the sentence. Feel free to get creative and goofy with them - it is your relationship so the more personalised, the better.

This is great for a night in with take-out and a bottle of wine. It’s relaxed and intimate.

Other things you could do:


Random ‘Good morning’ and ‘Sweet dreams’ texts

Dedicate playlists

Post-it notes around the house

Love letters

Quality Time

So many people misunderstand this - it is quality attention, so a movie night probably won’t cut it. Preplanning a night purely to spend time with your loved one is much more valuable than turning a suddenly free evening into a date night. Leave the phone at the door and get ready for some affection!

Date night idea:

Book a night beforehand. Get a hot chocolate or some funky coffee and walk around the neighbourhood together, chat about your days - reconnect a little before you get home and start making dinner together.

Other things you could do:

Do a puzzle or play a board game

Write a country/metal (whatever your taste) song together

Plan your next vacation together

Pillow fort

Share your favourite music

Gift Giving

People with this Love Language often get labelled as ‘shallow’ or ‘materialistic’ when that isn’t the case. Gift Giving is not about valentines day or apology flowers. It’s about attentiveness and timing. Surprising them with their favourite chocolate bar, or getting them a cooking class for the cuisine they love.

Date night idea:

Start by buying them either flowers or chocolate (Bonus points for buying their favourite) before going to a paint-a -pot where you paint a gift for each other to take later.

Other things you could do:

Design and make matching jewellery set for them

Do a mini shopping spree, buying things for each other or your home at a charity shop (prizes for the cheapest item you both like)

Learn a new skill and give them the finished product

Create a new tradition

Host a party in their honour

Acts of Service

This is one of the easier Love Language but can also be the most overlooked. My advice to you here is to not take the Acts for granted. If your partner always cooks for you, appreciate it. If they always make you a cup of tea while you are working, appreciate it. But also just simply tidying, putting a load of washing in or anything small that makes their life easier will mean so much to a person with Acts of Service as their Love Langauge.

Date night idea:

Get home earlier than your partner, tidying the living space and bedroom before making dinner. Prepare their favourite beverage for when they get home and Voilà.

Other things you could do:

Do the chore they hate doing.

Help them with something they are struggling with

Steal them away from work (if possible)for a stress-free lunch

Do a home DIY project together

Spend a day clearing out their ‘hoard space’ - add some wine and music while you giggle over your discoveries.

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Physical Touch

This is about physical intimacy, whilst this is important to everyone to some degree but if it is your primary Language it’s even more important. This can be a little tricky as people feel it can be awkward to ask for physical touching that isn’t sex, especially in male partners. But with patience and understanding, you can master this Love Language.

Date night idea:

Bake together, but you have to hold hands the entire time. Giving you one free hand each, so the rolling dough becomes a team effort. You can also eat your creation while you snuggle in for a movie which is always a bonus.

Other things you could do:

Take dance classes once a week (salsa is always a good shout)

A romantic makeout session

A massage night

Hold hands when you are shopping

Brush your partner’s hair, have a night styling each other's hairdos

This article will have equipped you with the master keys to better love linguistics. But it remains a constant practice. None of us is perfect, and we cannot hope for faultless communication at all times. Tiredness, stress, and emotional circumstances all contribute to sways in our aptitude for clear and positive communication practices.

Why not take a picture of your Love Language inspired date night and share your idea with us - links below!